This quote was written by an amazing writer, me, and she has a point.
If I know anything about romance (which trust me, I do) it's all about pretending that bodily functions don't happen. Because let's get real, that's gross! Who wants to kiss someone who burps, poops, or farts? Those things are too close to the body parts you have sex with. *Yicky*
If you feel comfortable enough with your SigOth (Significant Other) to use a bathroom in a house that they are present in... that means the romance is dead.
Romance is about feeling uncomfortable.
- It's about questioning if you should order what you really want or ordering something that says: This person is actually a tiny rabbit.
- It's about waxing off all your pubic hair even though that is crazy expensive and also weird.
- It's about waking up early to put on your "wake up make up" so he never actually sees what your skin looks like.
- It's about walking to the nearest 7-11 to poop in a disgusting meth bathroom so he thinks that the only thing that evacuates your body is the smell of expensive perfume (that you get as samples at Sephora).
- It's about wearing those ridiculous waist trainers that the Kardashians wear to rearrange your insides to be more womanly.
Enough about what Romance is, let's talk about poop and why it's ruining relationships all over the world.
Poop is stinky. And as women, we must smell good all the time. Your BF will take one sniff and think, "The mother of my children cannot and will not smell up the bathroom. That's for barn people."
Poop also signifies you might eat more than just water and vegetable juice and if you eat more than that you are bound to have some of those thighs that touch. EWE! #NotGoalsAF
Poop is for men only. That's how they read books. #DUH
All in all ladies, keep the poop far away from your relationship as possible unless you want to become an undesirable cat lady. They poop all the time and that's why they are so unattractive.
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